Motivation and Inspiration of a Single Mother

Motivational single mother

Brittany was born in Newcastle, New South Wales in 1992 and moved to Canberra in 2005. She met her ex-partner and father of her children in grade 10, and they began dating.

In June 2013, Brittany had her first child. Like many relationships, hers had a lot of ups and downs. It started to really break down towards the end of 2013, before ending in October 2015. Brittany and her ex have a private custody arrangement, where she has full care of their two children. He will see them or have them over when he requests, which is usually once a fortnight.

An original agreement had him looking after their children for a few hours on Thursday nights and every second Sunday, but because of his drug addiction, visitations eventually broke down. Brittany has since attempted to get a more formal arrangement; however, her ex is yet to respond to the formal invitation to attend mediation.

While their split was a long time coming, things were amicable between Brittany and her ex. As his drug addiction progressed, their co-parenting relationship slowly disintegrated. Brittany was unhappy with the way he was caring for their children, and he was unhappy with the idea Brittany might move on and find another partner, despite his being in a new relationship since their split.

In 2019, Brittany took out an interim family violence order (FVO) as things deteriorated. Her ex made several threats of violence and took their children against Brittany’s wishes. Without legal representation or support from the court or social networks, Brittany dropped the FVO and attempted to walk the tightrope of co-parenting with him.

Unfortunately, Brittany’s ex has not coped well with the situation. Although he has a well-paying job, his drug addiction and poor spending habits resulted in a lot of unpaid debts. He often asks Brittany for money, which adds more financial stress on top of caring for her family.

Brittany is an inspiration by managing the unhealthy relationship with her ex, being a single mum, and studying for a Bachelor of Nursing part-time, while also working part-time with the ACT government. She understands the importance of taking time out for herself, but currently finds it difficult to not feel guilty, as it usually comes at the cost of something else that needs to be done.

At home, a routine is set. Brittany feels the children really thrive when they know what to expect. Maintaining their routine, however, becomes complicated when clinical placement occurs with her university course and she needs to complete shifts at the hospital. Brittany keeps Saturdays free, so she and her family can have a lazy day where they get to stay in their pyjamas. The children’s paternal grandfather has them for a weekend once a month and her mum comes once a month to stay with her and help.

Following the split, Brittany does many activities around Canberra with her two children, celebrating a lot of things and attending community events.

Brittany finds being a single mum easier than being partnered. When in a relationship, she had the expectation of getting help from someone else, but always resulted in disappointment when no help was received. Brittany understands this is not the case for all couples.

Brittany struggles with the stigma associated with being a young, single mum, yet feels that she has beaten society’s expectation of this.

In 2018 Brittany’s mental health began to deteriorate. After going to her doctor for help, she began a low dose of anti-depressants and was given a mental health care plan.

Although the medication has helped, Brittany has been unable to receive counselling because she is the sole provider for her children. This leaves her with little to no time for herself.

Throughout 2019, Brittany’s mental health deteriorated further with the stress of her ex’s drug addiction and completing the final year of university. Brittany feels that although she is using every ounce of energy to cope, it helps knowing that this is a temporary situation.

After graduating, Brittany knows to give herself some time off so she can work on her mental and physical well-being. It is a mountain she is climbing, and once she reaches the top, she knows she will be happy. She looks forward to what the future brings and draws herself back to the present moment - to be grateful for the little things.